In Under Five we meet a man who hasn’t had much luck in the romance department. After careful consideration he determines his bad luck must be due to ‘physical short commings’ and takes very drastic measure to rectify the issue.
UNDER FIVE by Michael War
Publication Date: May 30, 2018 Genre: LGBT, Paranormal Romance Publisher: Less Than Three Press Source: NetGalley Purchase: Amazon Story Rating: 3.5/ 5 Romance Rating: 3/5
Mike is good looking, charming, and has no trouble attracting men—as long as his clothes stay on. But the moment they come off, something always seems to go terribly wrong. When his sister takes him to a faith healer to fix the problem, he is provided with a spell—and left with a lot of doubts.
But after meeting Kevin, Mike decides to give the spell a try…
It should go without saying, I was drawn to this book because of the cover. It’s a very nice cover. Then I read the synopsis. “He has no problems attracting men,” of course not, look at him… “as long as the clothes stay on.” So I was intrigued, he’s half-naked on the cover and I can’t see a problem, what could be so bad? I needed to know.
What does Under Five refer to? Perhaps he’s missing a toe. Maybe it’s referring to the number of partners he’s had.
It only took a few pages before I realized I was reading about a man who was insecure about his uh, endowment. This is not a topic I’m terribly comfortable with, I kept reading because it was a short book.
Hindsight is 20/20. But in my defense when I asked my most accessible friends what they made of title and synopsis, the guys immediately told me he “has a little willy,” their words, not mine. The girls were as confused as I was. I always love when books are a catalyst for conversation and this one was.
Ok, now for the story. This was a paranormal romance which is not what I typically read. There was a faith healer, a magic spell, and a clone. Believe it or not, those weren’t the things I found most unbelievable about the story.
Let’s start from the beginning. Mike realizes he might be under-endowed when his partner laughs and says, “I expected it to be bigger.” Then he thinks back to his previous relationships and decides that must be why they all didn’t work out.
I can understand insecurity, but I’ve yet to meet a man who isn’t acutely aware of how he measures up to other men. Much less a man who is so ignorant of his own size. Seriously has he never… you know what, we’re not even going to go there, apparently he hasn’t even looked in a mirror. I feel confident in saying there are other ways he could compensate.
That’s not even the most unbelievable part. After making such a traumatic discovery, he understandably needs to talk to someone about it. I can’t fault him for that, I’d need to talk if someone laughed at me once the clothes came off too. However, one group of people I would not have that discussion with is my family.
That he went straight to his sister, after his shocking revelation, and she took him right to a faith healer made an already awkward book that much worse.
With all that said, I did grow to care about the characters. I wanted them to be happy, and I was glad when they found love in the end.
Overall, Under Five was a unique book that dealt with a topic I’ve been lead to believe many men struggle with. I’d recommend it to anyone looking for a quick read that’s not like the traditional MM romance, or general romance for that matter.